-Weigh in Wednesdays -

Reminder- Initial, Goals, and Current

INITIAL: Sept. 8th

Weight: 154 lbs
Pant size: 10
BMI: 25.3 (overweight)

GOALS: (preferably before bikini weather)
Weight: 130 lbs
Pant size - 4-6
BMI: 21.3 (middle of normal)

CURRENT: Jan. 5th

Weight: 148 lbs

Pant size: 10

BMI: 24.3 (high normal)

There is one small victory in all of that, I am now with in the normal weight range.

I know most of you would look at this and feel that I am being ridiculous that I want to lose weight when my weight is with in the normal range. However, for one if something makes you unhappy or lowers your self esteem- change it. And for me that is exactly what I am doing. Also, I strongly believe that the major contributing factor to beauty is self confidence. Some might have kept their self confidence with their weight gain, but I am apparently too shallow for that. My self confidence has an inverse relationship to my weight gain. The more weight I gained, the lower it fell. Lastly, a practical and superficial driving factor, I have a ton of clothes that I love that don't fit any longer, that I would like to wear again.

My sweet hubby, gently reminders me that I am no longer a teenager or an undergrad and it is okay that I am not that size anymore. Some of you may think this is harsh but it isn't. This is his way of trying to soften my own self expectation so that I won't beat myself up as much for not being able to keep up with my own standards.

I have not so gently reminded him that 'the second you accept mediocrity, is that second that you will never be anything more than mediocre'

There is a balance between trying to achieve unrealistic expectations and being complacent with things the way they are. However, if you are complacent then nothing will change. Therefore for me, I am not complacent at all, because I want my weight to change.

Lesley